A NOTE FROM THE PRINCIPAL

I was listening to breakfast TV the other week and they were doing a bit of a poll on what advice would you give your teenage self. Parts of it were very entertaining but the thing that struck me the most was the vast majority were saying ‘Don’t worry about what others think of you – be yourself’. As adults we pretty much all know that’s great advice and can recognise that it’s important. But how do we teach teenagers that it is the most important thing? So many times we talk to students who have made bad choices whether in behavior or subject choices and their reason is that their mates encouraged them, they didn’t want their friends to mock them and so on. We saw it at school in a recent staff vs students game where the ‘friends’ who weren’t playing were sitting on the sideline making fun of the ones who were playing. When called out on it they claim ‘it’s banter’ or they know it’s a joke.

I really think we need to be doing more to educate our young people on what true friendship is – yes there is banter and jokes but not to the point where you publicly put people down, or your friend doesn’t do something because they are worried what you might think of them. This I’m afraid falls on parents more than anyone – and I’ve heard the answer ‘just find new friends:, easier said than done in a small school and often a limited social circle to choose from.

There is a well-known Dr Suess saying: “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” It’s a powerful sentiment, and one worth considering. A recent study concluded that children as young as TWO begin caring about their reputations. Researchers found children displayed more controlled behaviour when they knew they were being watched.

As parents, we want this to an extent–children must care what others think and feel about them in order to develop relationships. But what happens when our kids care too much about what others think? What happens when they lose touch with their intrinsic self-worth? The need to feel accepted makes us human. Yet, there is incredible power in helping kids value their opinions about themselves above those of others. So how do we teach this to our young people? The following three tips come from an educational psychologist and are a great starting point.

1. Encourage Self-Reflection: For kids to value (or even know) their opinions, self-awareness is critical. Providing time for them to consider and reflect on their thoughts, values, and beliefs is key to this process. A simple method for encouraging self-reflection is by asking kids what they think. The next time your child seeks your opinion or shares someone else’s, respond with curiosity and openness. Ask, “What do YOU believe?” or “What would YOU do?” rather than I – Lea McKnoulty, children’s author and illustrator.
   
2. Broaden Their Horizons: Children spend an average of five hours a day in school for 40 weeks (that’s 1400 hours a year!). It’s no wonder that for many, the universe seems to begin and end there. Often, what seems like a minor issue to parents, feels devastating to them. When kids are feeling excluded or judged, how can we show them there’s a big world outside of their classroom? Start by helping your young person be involved in things that include different people to school where possible.
   
3. Keep It In Perspective: Almost daily, students have a social interaction go wrong. Typically, the student is worried about how they were perceived, and what their peer is now thinking of them. A helpful phrase is, “The only person thinking about YOU is YOU.” The peer is likely considering what happened too. But they are wondering how they were perceived (rather than judging or thinking poorly of you). Have kids identify the “worst-case scenario” of being judged. Ask, “What’s the absolute worst thing that can happen if someone thinks this?” Similarly, ask the worst-case scenario of living a life defined by others: “What’s the worst that can happen if you don’t do what makes you happy because you’re worried about what others will say and think?”

Even with these strategies, sometimes children still have big feelings about how others perceive them. When that happens, make sure they know some coping skills for handling their emotions (visiting a chosen teacher or counsellor at school, taking a deep breath, or positive affirmations can help). Finally, remember that it’s normal (and even healthy) for kids to care what others think of them–everyone does. But the last thing we want is another round of regret later on and it being the main piece of advice our young people would choose to give themselves in 5 or 10 years time!

WHAT’S COMING UP?

WEEK NINE EVENT SCHEDULES:

FRIENDLY REMINDERS

• If your child is going to be late or absent, please call the school office on 03 319 5138 or email office@kaikourahigh.school.nz any time after 8 am to let us know. We send texts out around 10.55 am for absent students.
• Please return Prize Giving trophies and/or Taonga to the school office ASAP.
• Hoodies are not permitted to be worn at KHS.

WHAT’S BEEN HAPPENING?

BOT Parent Rep Election Results
Congratulations to Will Doughty who has been elected as our Parent Representative on our BOT.
Will is a parent of a student at our kura and you may also know him as the CEO of the Kaikōura District Council.
We look forward to his contributions to our Board.

Anna Kayes Visit
We were fortunate to have award-winning author Anne Kayes visit our Kura last week. Author of junior fiction with the Tūī Street series, and young adult novel, In Our Own Back Yard.
www.annekayes.com

South Island Secondary Schools Hockey
The Kaikoura High Hockey team headed off on the 2nd of September to the annual SISS (South Island Secondary Schools) Mixed hockey tournament, this year held in Timaru. The team this year was the perfect balance of experience and newbies. We unfortunately drew the pool of death with last year’s SISS runner-up (Wakatipu – who went on to win the tournament) and the winner of this year’s Top of the South (Nayland College).

Our first two games were hard work and testament to our Kaikoura kids having a never-say-die attitude. They fought to the end with Wakatipu acknowledging their excellent guts against an extremely well-drilled team. We finished pool play with two losses but came back against Nayland and gave them a fright when they thought they easily had us cornered. Remembering that both teams come from schools with over 1000 students to pick from, compared to our 200, we did extremely well. Unfortunately, this put us in the playoffs for the bottom 8 over the remaining three days.

Our kids had the goal to finish 9th – in the highest spot we could and set about achieving it. Day 3 we played East Otago High in a spirited game that showed all our skill and resulted in a sound 6-1 win. Into our groove now, we had an early morning game on Day 4 against Verdon College (previously ranked higher than us). With a tough start, it turned into a tight game but the team showed real tenacity and came out with a 2-1 win.

Day 5 and we were into the playoff for 9th. We came up against a spirited Mackenzie College team who we were very even with. We scored early in the first quarter and held on until the third quarter when Mackenzie equalized. The score stayed 1-1 at full time sending us to a shootout. In hockey, this consists of 5 different players (one must be a female) having 8 seconds to take a shot at goal. It alternates between the teams for the shots. Our team is probably one of the few who had been through a shootout before and gave every impression of being cool, calm and collected in stepping up to the mark. Taylor Heger sent a fantastic ball past the opposing goalie and our goalie, Logan Fissenden, was laser focused to do a shutout, blocking every one of their shots. Our team umpire – an ex-pupil of Kaikoura High School – also had an extremely strong tournament being awarded the final match to umpire which was a racking game between Mt Aspiring College and Wakatipu High going down to the last 4 minutes before Wakatipu upset the reigning champions.

Special mention to our amazing orange support crew of parents! And the sponsorship from Road Metals that enabled us to have slick gear. We had a great week, lots of laughs, a few tears for our finishing players and good team bonding experiences.

Our trades class delivering the penguin nesting boxes:

Year 11 Health & Year 7-10 Kapa Haka Marae Visit
Last Monday, Whaea Casey’s Year 11 Health class and the Year 7-10 rōpu in our Kapa Haka visited Te Pā o Takahanga to support a wānanga being hosted there by Rangiora Borough School.
This was also special for Whaea Casey as she also had some whānau returning to Kaikōura!
After a sunny pōwhiri and kai outside, Matua Cowan shared some pūrakau about Ngāi Tahu’s connections with other iwi in Te Waipounamu and then we all got involved with some Kapa Haka. Both kura performed for each other and then joined together for a waiata. Rangiora were hearty, confident kids and impressed our students a lot. It was wonderful to see the confidence in our students grow in the marae space and we hope to foster this more for them.
Whaea’s class ran several activities for the young tauira after the kapa haka, including a Matariki-themed scavenger hunt and Harakeke weaving.
It was awesome to see the whakawhanaungatanga there and our young leaders did so well in showing ngā tamariki awhi during their first day in Kaikōura.
We hope to continue being able to take up opportunities like these to grow relationships with other kura and support Te Rūnanga.

COMMUNITY NOTICES

There is a drop-off point at KHS!